Desperate
by Becca the fiend
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures. Watanuki, do you never learn? part of the "Waking Up In Vegas" series. Complete crack. Contains amused grandfathers, and hints of DouWata. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: It's not mine. I only wish it was. But contrary to popular belief, I can't actually make it mine by wishing for it. How saddening.

* * *

"Good evening, Watanuki-kun."

The voice came from behind him, and startled the 21-year-old man nearly out of his wits. With a sheepish smile painted across his features, he turned around to face the highly familiar figure apologetically.

"Ah, hello Haruka-san. You startled me."

Haruka Doumeki chuckled lightly, amused at the younger man's antics. The man may have calmed down slightly since high school, but he still made for good entertainment. After all, Kimihiro Watanuki was practically synonymous with over-reacting.

"Has Shizuka gotten any easier to handle?" Haruka asked conversationally.

Watanuki's attitude made a complete 180 degree flip at the mention of a certain exorcist. His expression morphed into one of great irritation, and his fists clenched.

"No. That guy is just as big of a jerk as ever!" Watanuki practically growled, seething.

Obviously, Haruka's grandson had yet again annoyed the thin man, probably by doing something completely normal. Haruka felt the urge to laugh, but suppressed it for now. This could be very entertaining, after all.

"What has my grandson done this time?" Haruka prodded, a tiny smile breaking free. Watanuki didn't seem to notice as his demeanor once again changed completely to something strongly resembling pouting.

"We were recently in Las Vegas for a whole week, completely alone, and that guy didn't even attempt anything! Everything we did was rated PG, sans the location! I mean, come on! We were alone for a whole week! He could've tried _something_!" the man raved, flailing as he spoke.

As Watanuki had grown older, he'd slowly started to act less formal around Haruka, until finally, he pretty much acted the same around Haruka as he did with Yuuko and Shizuka. (Though he never really directed his yelling at Haruka, preferring to rant about Shizuka and Yuuko most of the time.)

Though it had taken a while before the boy (now a man) had really opened up, Haruka thought it was well worth it. He could definitely see why his grandson enjoyed Watanuki's company so much. The man was certainly an interesting character, what with all the sudden and dramatic changes in attitude. Watanuki was much more interesting to watch than cable TV, in Haruka's (and Doumeki's and Yuuko's) humble opinion.

"I'm sure Shizuka had a reason to not make a move. Did something happen early on in the trip that would have caused him to act like that?"

"Well, I somehow managed to get drunk the first night we were there. But I can't really remember a thing from that night...." Watanuki trailed off, looking thoughtful. Haruka, of course, knew what happened that night Watanuki got drunk. Since he was dead, Haruka could choose to watch the world of the living-and more specifically, the man next to him and his grandson-whenever he pleased.

Clearly, Haruka didn't want to miss out on what could happen when Yuuko sent Shizuka and Watanuki to Vegas. That was simply unacceptable. But Watanuki didn't know this, and Haruka damn well wasn't going to tell him. Technically, it wasn't really honorable to watch your 21-year-old grandson and his (almost) lover whenever you wanted. Actually, it was kind of creeper-like. And it didn't fit Watanuki's image of Haruka. So Watanuki could never know. Obviously.

"Well, why don't you ask Shizuka what happened on the night you were drunk? Perhaps you'd find your answers then," Haruka suggested, suppressing a giddy smile. This was going to be great.

"Eh?" Watanuki looked confused, yet again, as Haruka just smiled mysteriously. Moments later, the boy faded out of Haruka's vision, having woken up from his dream. Haruka really couldn't wait for Watanuki to fall asleep again.

Hours later, when it was night time in the human world, Watanuki yet again appeared in the dream world, seething. Haruka was pretty sure he knew the cause behind this seething, but still greeted Watanuki just as he usually did.

"Good evening again, Watanuki-kun. I'm guessing you asked my grandson what happened the night you got drunk?"

"I did, and I can't believe that guy! We were alone, I was drunk, and fucking willing, and he _didn't do anything_! I was actually making a move on him and he didn't take advantage of that! He said it wouldn't be fucking honorable!" Watanuki ranted in a strange voice that was somewhere between a growl and a screech, apparently forgetting that he was actually talking to someone's grandfather. (It probably had something to do with Haruka's young appearance, and striking resemblance to the target of the blue-eyed man's immense irritation.)

Haruka said nothing in reply, preferring to chuckle quietly to himself as Watanuki muttered something about 'fucking Doumeki.' After a minute, Watanuki seemed to realize something, and he turned to Haruka with a grin.

"Haruka-san, you wouldn't mind helping me with something, would you?" the younger man asked, batting his eyelashes a little. Haruka had to put all his efforts into repressing the cackle that threatened to escape him.

"Watanuki-kun, I already know what you're going to ask," Haruka started. Watanuki looked hopeful.

"But I can't help you. You see, I love my wife very much, and my grandson is madly in love with you. If I were to help you, both of them would be rather angry with me."

Watanuki pouted, but Haruka continued on, smirking a little as he spoke the last line, resembling his grandson even more.

"Besides, it wouldn't be very honorable now, would it?"

Watanuki's reaction to this may have been the funniest Haruka had ever seen. The man's practically exploded with the intensity of his emotions, and his flailing increased tenfold.

"Argh! Can't a guy ever get a break with you Doumeki men? I'm 21 and I still haven't gotten laid! I'm desperate!" the man wailed.

Haruka wanted very badly to say something along the lines of, "clearly," to Watanuki's exclamation of his current desperateness to get laid, but he restrained himself. That was Shizuka's job to be the smartass. Haruka was somewhat different than his grandson in Watanuki's eyes, and he figured it was necessary to keep that illusion. Otherwise, he'd never get anything out of the man.

Though, it was rather clear that Watanuki's words were the truth. After all, the man was admitting his desperation, and that was something Watanuki just didn't do, usually, even to Haruka. Haruka smirked a little as he replied to the younger man.

"That's still not very honorable, Watanuki-kun."

"..... I friggin' hate Doumeki men."

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AN: Poor Watanuki, being so desperate. He's even resorting to trying to seduce Haruka-san! (And Haruka-san is finding this whole thing hilarious. Lolol.)

..... Don't look at me like that! I can't help that my imagination is screwed up! Really, I just wanted to have Watanuki attempt to seduce Haruka, and then Haruka go: "That's not very honorable." because the Doumeki men are honorable, damnit. Not that I think Watanuki likes Haruka more than Shizuka, because I think Watanuki would rather be molested by Shizuka. But, as Watanuki said, he's desperate. And Haruka LOOKS like Shizuka, really. So Watanuki could just pretend Haruka was really Shizuka. If only Haruka wasn't so honorable. (Damn both of those Doumeki men.)

As for Haruka's amusement throughout this whole thing. Well, I imagine him to be somewhat like Shizuka, since they're related, and both of them enjoy talking to Watanuki. Though I like to think that Haruka's a lot more like Shizuka than he lets Watanuki see, because Shizuka had to get his sarcasm and witty comebacks from somewhere. Haruka's just trying to keep up an image of a wise old man in Watanuki's presence, so Watanuki will open up around him more. Besides, who ISN'T amused when Watanuki starts flailing and ranting? Who am I to deny Haruka his amusement, anyway? Pffft.

Anywho. I hope you enjoyed this sequel to "Waking Up In Vegas." It's just as crack-filled as the other ones! :D


End file.
